Saturday, September 8, 2018

What Are You REALLY Angry About?


  “What are you really angry about?”
  The phrase came drifting into Tyler’s head from out of nowhere on a Sunday afternoon.  He was kicking back having a couple of brewskis and watching some syfy flick.
  “What are you really angry about?”
  It was a handy phrase to have.
  Ever since he heard it he used it to back himself out of crap that made him angry. 
  For instance there were times when Tyler was confronted by angry bosses, bosses who seemed to be way over-angry about the issue at hand.  At what Tyler thought was just the right time he would ask, “Boss, what are you really angry about?”
  Interestingly Tyler never got an answer to his question, but the boss’ ranting always came to an abrupt end.
  “What are you really angry about?”
  Tyler didn’t keep count of how many times he’d asked himself that question when something made him really angry.  The question gave him pause, helped him dismantle his rage.
  It was a long time ago when he first heard the words.
  Is 35 years a long time?
  Yes, 35 years is a long time.
  Tyler was freshly divorced and freshly done with his job back in the hills and hollows of eastern Kentucky coal country.
  Tyler rolled into the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia in his old Ford coupe towing a rental trailer with all of his crap crammed inside.  He pulled up at a gas station under a tree, went and bought a copy of the local paper, then kicked back in his car and looked over the classifieds for a place to live…a room, share a house, even a house…something.
  Tyler followed up on one ad, dropping in on a house in town, home to a Quaker mom and her young son.  He knew she was Quaker because she kept saying she was a Quaker…this seemed to be very important to her.  The only thing that seemed different about her home is that the dining room chairs hung on hooks on the dining room walls.  He didn’t know if that was a Quaker thing or just her thing.  Tyler was a bit put off by her because she seemed to be hungry for a man in her life.  It wasn’t anything she said…okay, maybe it was but he couldn’t remember…but moreover it was a vibe she gave off.  Besides, Tyler had a girlfriend.
  The other ad in the paper that caught Tyler’s eye was for a small farmhouse about 20 miles out of town.
“SMALL FARMHOUSE ADJACENT TO MAIN HOUSE.
2BR, 1BATH, KITCHEN.  PEACEFUL.  IDEAL FOR TEACHER,
ARTIST, WRITER.  $250/MONTH, $100 DEPOSIT.
20 MILES FROM STAUNTON.  CALL…..”
  Tyler pulled up to a phone booth and soon he was talking to…
  “Hello, this is Hattie June Ames*.”
  “Hello Ms. Ames, my name is Tyler Bergeron.  I’m calling about your farmhouse for rent.”
  “What do you do, Mr. Bergeron?”
  “I’m taking a new job as a advertising salesman at a radio station in town.”
  “What station?” she asked.
  Tyler told her.
  “Oh, I don’t listen to that,” said Ms. Ames, “I like the Christian station.  I’m old, I’m a retired school teacher.  That’s why I was looking for someone in the arts to rent my little house.”
  “Well Ms. Ames I am an aspiring writer.”
  “Aspiring?”
  “Yes ma’am,” said Tyler.  “You know a lot of writers held other jobs.  Cervantes, the man who wrote ‘Don Quixote’ held many jobs, he was even a slave for a bit.”
  “I KNOW about Miguel de Cervantes, Mr. Bergeron, I WAS a schoolteacher.”
  “Yes ma’am.”
  “Where are you moving in from?”
  “I’m fresh from the coalfields of eastern Kentucky,” said Tyler.
  There was a bit of silence on the line.
  “Well,” said Ms. Ames, “Come on out…”
  She gave Tyler directions.
  In short order Tyler was winding down the road to the Ames house.  He had passed through the Shenandoah Valley many times, now he’d be living in The Valley.  The hills and hollows of eastern Kentucky couldn’t hold a candle to the tall Blue Ridge Mountains to the east and the Alleghenies to the west that bordered the vast valley.


  Tyler pulled up in front of Ms. Ames house, a two-story old place…no doubt that was the rent-house about 200 feet off to the west side of the place.
  Ms. Ames sat on the front porch of her home in a rocking chair rocking back and forth, a cane in her lap.
  She was much older than Tyler imagined.  She sat in an old house dress that came down to her ankles.
  “I was a school teacher for a long time,” Ms. Ames just said out of the blue.  “This is my momma and daddy’s house.  I’ve lived here all my life.”
  “No ma’am,” said Tyler.  “You ain’t gone on to Glory yet so it ain’t all your life.”
  There were some moments of awkward silence.
  “Oh,” said Ms. Ames, sneering, “That’s supposed to be funny.  Ha ha.”
  “Sorry ma’am,” said Tyler, “Just my radio humor.”
  “I retired 10 years ago,” she went on.  “I moved into the little house over there when I came back from college to teach around here.  It’s where I lived until momma and daddy died.   Come on, boy, let’s go over and have a look at it.”
  Tyler walked slow so Ms. Ames could keep up, hobbling along with her cane.
  “I always thought this would be perfect for an artistic person,” said Ms. Ames.
  “Where’s Mr. Ames?” asked Tyler.
  “Oh, I never married, I have no children.  I have a lot of nephews and nieces.  I had enough children in my life being a teacher.  Go on in, the door isn’t locked.”
  Tyler walked into the little place.  Wood floors, no furniture, lots of windows with views across the overgrown fields to the mountains…The Alleghenies to the west, The Blue Ridge to the east.  He had visions of coming back to the place at night and getting to work on his writing on his typewriter.  What was he going to write?  He had no idea, but he was sure it would come to him.  Yeah, this is where his great novel would be born.


  “So you are working on a novel or something?”
  “I’m going to write,” said Tyler, “and this looks like just the kind of place that would give me some inspiration.”
  “You’re not published?” asked Ms. Ames.
  “No ma’am,” said Tyler.
  He turned and looked at Ms. Ames.  Her right eyeball wasn’t quite set right in her head and some snaggily teeth hung over her lower lip.
  Tyler pulled out his wallet and presented Ms. Ames with $350.
  “Rent and deposit ma’am,” he said.
  “Now not so fast, boy,” said Ms. Ames.  “I need some references.  Come on back to the house.”
  Back at the house Tyler wrote down some names and phone numbers of folks he knew back in eastern Kentucky.
  The next day Ms. Ames called back and gave him the “green light” to move on in.
  The new job started Monday.  It was Friday now.  Tyler met with Ms. Ames late Friday morning and was all moved in by suppertime, just in time for Darcy to roll in from Pikeville.
  Darcy flung open the door of her car, she was all jeans, peasant blouse, big smile and blue eyes. Tyler picked up Darcy and spun her round and round.
  “Isn’t this a great place?” he asked.
  “Out in the middle of nowhere,” said Darcy.  “We can make lots of noise out here.”
  Darcy was Tyler’s girlfriend.  She went to the cosmetology school in Pikeville.  In a few months she would graduate and be a hair stylist.
  They stood in front of the little farmhouse, held hands and watched the sunset.
  There was a rustling behind them.  They both turned around.
  It was Ms. Ames.
  “WHO IS THIS?” she said sharply.
  “This is Darcy Turnbaugh,” said Tyler.  “My girlfriend.”
  Darcy smiled and held out her hand for Ms. Ames to shake.
  Ms. Ames just stood, squinted her eyes and stared them down.
  She wouldn’t shake Darcy’s hand.
  “Do you think she is living here?” said Ms. Ames, jabbing her cane in Darcy’s direction.
  Tyler stood there in silence for a few moments and assessed the situation.
  “Miss Turnbaugh is visiting me this weekend.”
  “Aren’t you freshly divorced?” said Ms. Ames, now jabbing her cane in Tyler’s direction.  “Don’t you have children?”
  Tyler stood there in silence.
  “Ma’am,” he said, pausing to choose his words carefully, “I don’t see that my life in Pikeville has any bearing on our renter and landlord agreement here in Virginia.  How do you know about my children anyway?”
  “One of your references liked to talk a lot,” said Ms. Ames.
  “Ma’am, with all due respect, my personal life is none of your business.”
  Ms. Ames turned her head and spit on the ground.  With that she turned and ambled away.
  They watched her walk back to the farmhouse.
  And so Tyler and Darcy spent the weekend driving around the new territory during the day and at night doing those things that a boyfriend and girlfriend do when love is new and those frisky feelings run high.
  Sunday came.  The two lay in bed until late in the morning.
  “Well,” said Darcy, “How about I fix some brunch?”
  “A most excellent idea Miss Turnbaugh,” said Tyler.
  BAM!  BAM!  BAM!
  There was a loud knocking at the door.
  Tyler and Darcy looked at each other.  Tyler shrugged his shoulders.  He put on some clothes and went to the door.
  He opened it and there was Ms. Ames.
  She was dressed in something that looked like what a woman of the 1940’s might wear to church topped off with one of those little hats that needs a hat pin to hold it in place.
  “Mr. Bergeron I want to talk to you NOW,” said Ms. Ames.  She spun around and hobbled up to the big house.  She turned around again, “and ALONE.”
  Tyler turned around and looked at Darcy.  She shrugged her shoulders and motioned for him to go.  He put on shoes and headed up to the house.
  He got to the front screen door…
  “Come on in, boy,” Ms. Ames barked from inside.
  Tyler walked in to find Ms. Ames sitting at her dining room table.
  “Sit down,” she said, tapping the chair across from her with her cane.
  Tyler sat.
  “I want you OUT of my rental,” said Ms. Ames.  “This was a mistake.”
  Tyler sat in stunned silence.
  “Well, ma’am, you sure get right to the point.”
  “The point is, boy, people are talking.”
  “What?” Tyler said with his face scrunched up.  “What are they talking about?”
  “People in my church, they want to know why I’m allowing such goings on.”
  “Who knows what?” said Tyler, his blood starting to rise.  “How?”
  “The Gundersons live over there,” she said jabbing her cane to the west, then jabbing her cane to the east, “And the Tildens over there.  They can see, THEY CAN HEAR.”
  “Hear what?”
  “You know damn well what, boy.  That’s a loud little girlfriend you have in the night.”
  Tyler felt himself blush.
  “You two were all the talk in church this morning.  I was mortified.”
  “That’s mighty CHRISTIAN of those folks now isn’t it,” said Tyler bitterly.
  “Now you just…”
  Tyler held up his hand, a sign for Ms. Ames to stop talking.
  “Ma’am, it’s best I excuse myself for about an hour and I come back and we finish this talk,” said Tyler.  “I can’t think straight right now.  This is quite a surprise.  I know this much, if having visitors is a problem you should’ve said something when I handed over my money.”
  Ms. Ames stared at Tyler.
  “Very well,” she said.
  Tyler stood up and walked out the door to the rent house.
  There was Darcy fixing bacon and eggs.
  “C’mon babe,” said Tyler.  “Turn off the stove.  Sorry it’ll mess up breakfast.  Something’s come up.  I need to take a drive and I need you to come with me.”
  Tyler grabbed her by the hand and lead her out the door to his old Ford.  He fired it up and tore out for the highway.
  “GOD DAMMIT,” he yelled, slamming his fist on to the dashboard.
  Darcy jumped and leaned back into the passenger door, eyes wide.
  “Umm,” she said slowly as the car rocketed down the two-lane, “you haven’t told me what’s going on.”
  55…65…75 miles per hour on the speedometer.
  “THE OLD BITCH WANTS ME OUT OF THE PLACE,” Tyler yelled, slamming his fist onto the dash again, a chunk of black plastic went flying.
  80…85…
  “Tyler,” said Darcy in a soft tone, “slow down.  At the least you might get a ticket, at most you’re gonna wrap us around a tree.”
  Tyler slammed his fist on the dash again.  Another chunk of plastic went flying.
  And now there was a gash on his hand.
  70…65…60 miles per hour.
  “Now,” said Darcy, putting her hand on his arm, “I’m going to say something to you and I want you to think about it.”
  Tyler stared straight ahead.
  Darcy could see the muscles in his face tensing and relaxing, tensing and relaxing over and over again.
  Blood oozed down the right side of the steering wheel.
  “Tyler, what are you REALLY angry about?”
  60…55…50 miles per hour.
  Tyler slowed down even more and eased the Ford to the side of the road, a little pull-off under a big old oak tree.
  He turned the car off.
  Tyler hung his head.  Then he looked at his hand.
  “We have any paper towels?  It looks worse than it is.”
  Darcy opened the glove box and pulled out some napkins they saved from some fast food joint.
  “What am I REALLY angry about….damn good question,” said Tyler as he wiped the blood from his hand, then the steering wheel.
  “I learned it in family therapy,” said Darcy.
  Tyler turned to Darcy and smiled.
  “I didn’t know you’d been in therapy,” he said.
  “I don’t talk about it much,” said Darcy.  “It was about me and my mom.  At least she wanted to better herself.  At least she realized she had a problem.”
  Tyler turned and looked out the side window at the Blue Ridge Mountains off in the distance.
  “I’m pissed because I have to load up all my shit again, find a place to live again.”
  He turned and looked Darcy in the eyes.
  “I’m tired, I’m battle weary, I lost my ass in that divorce,” he said.
  “Ummmm, HELL-O…I KNOW,” said Darcy.
  “Yeah,” said Tyler, smiling.
  “And I don’t have to leave this evening,” said Darcy.  “I’ll help you pack your shit up again, load it again…good thing you didn’t take that trailer back yet…and I’m betting by noon tomorrow we’ll have you in another place.”
  Tyler leaned back in the seat, looked up and let out a big sigh.
  His hand had stopped bleeding.
  Tyler fired up the Ford, whipped around and headed back to the Ames place.
  In a few minutes they were pulling up in front of the rent house. 
  Tyler turned off the car.
  “I’m going to go talk to her,” said Tyler.
  “I’ll start packing,” said Darcy.  “And I’ll have something for you to eat when you get back.”
  In moments Tyler was at the front door knocking politely.
  Ms. Ames came to the door and opened it.
  “Come in, Mr. Bergeron,” she said.
  Tyler walked through the house and stood by the ancient wooden dining room table.  Ms. Ames was making her way across the room.
  “I want all of my money back,” said Tyler.  “Like I said, if you had brought up the subject of visitors on Friday I would’ve found someplace else.”
  “It’s not about visitors per se,” said Ms. Ames as she sat, “You two are not married.”
  “Just give me my money, 350 dollars,” said Tyler holding out his hand.
  “And the children, you should think of the children.”
  “Ms. Ames, my personal life is none of your business, seriously, it isn’t.  Most of all you don’t know my story, don’t assume that you do because you don’t.”
  “I’m just telling you what I’ve seen in life, children of broken homes.”
  “My money please,” said Tyler, still holding out his hand.
  Ms. Ames pulled her purse to her from across the table, opened it and pulled out a wad of bills.  She passed the dollars to Tyler.
  “It’s all there,” she said.
  Tyler took her at her word.
  “And the rental agreement,” said Tyler.  “That needs to be torn up too.”
  “Yes sir,” said Ms. Ames, reaching for some typewritten pages laying on the table.  She got them and tore them up.
  “We’ll be off your property by sunset, if not sooner,” said Tyler, walking to the door, not looking at the old woman.  “Good fortune to you in the rest of your life’s journey, Ms. Ames.”
  “You as well, Mr. Bergeron,” said Ms. Ames.
  Tyler was out the door.
  It slammed behind him.
  Walking back to the rent house Tyler smiled.
  He felt better.
  Everything was going to be okay.
  “What are you REALLY angry about?”
  Great words.
  But best of all…
  …he wasn’t angry now.

-30-

  *All people’s names in this story are fictitious. 

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